For those who were there for last years Guild elections...

This is really funny. Courtesy of Bona.

Just to make sure: This is only a joke.




-hahahahah

Special Thanks

Today when I checked my email I found my friend Bona had sent me a special surprise. Thank you for sending this - I loved it so much I am putting it up on my blog!



-Its great!

Vote for me for uni council

Dear readers,

If you go to unsw: I am running for university council, which is the peak governing body of the university. As the student representative I would work:

-to oppose any fee increases
-Greater flexibility for part time students and recognition of the
necessity to work for most full time students.
-A more active careers department to engage students and create
opportunities for our graduates
-A scholarship for students in need to pay for their books
-Cheaper printing and photocopying in the library
-A 24 hour study room for students.
-Better childcare on campus

Please take the time to vote. You should be receiving a ballot in the mail soon. You can either mail it back or hand it to the chancellery. Every vote counts because not many people vote in these elections, but a lot of decisions affecting you are made.

Thanks

Gulfam

- I think if you do read this blog quite regularly you would have a fair indication of what my opinions are on virtually any topic.

Studying

I have always been an avid fan of reading books, unfortunately that enthusiasm has never extended to the textbooks which I find myself studying. However, nothing compares with studying with Mr 69 Cai. He looks up pictuers of men, searches men on 'hot or not' and rates them, searches men on 'adultmatchmaker' and even searches men on explicit sites. Today he watched Ken Park for the male masturbation scene, which was real.

In addition to this he appears to have an obsession with Phillip Chin, and often remarks "Phil and Li" before asking me whether Phil likes men or women and whether his relationship will last. I don't want to offer you any advice, Steve, but if you are gay thats ok. I am not surprised you have rejected 7 girls over the last 12 months. You no longer need to pretend that you are searching those sites for 'other people'. Its ok, your secret is safe with me and all the other readers of this blog.

In other news, Steve's boredom has led him to spam many sites and he has found out that he has been more active than he realised over the last couple of weeks.

He also did something to the law computer and set off the alarm. He then left pretending it wasn't him when:

1. He was the only person in the room
2. He was the last person to log on to the computer which had activated the theft alarm.


-Steve recently discovered adult match maker and has now made various offers. If you have received an offer from Steve, I wish you the best of luck.

"Phil and Li" vs "4 thils on one face"

The reason for this heading is that I am yet to decide which topic I should write about. I do have more - I could also digress and talk about Astro boy again or why my internet explorer is dumber than a chestnut, or even fulfil my promise and explain why steve cai and phillip chin are the same person.

However, I think for the most part I will let you remain over-excited and you may take a few days to wait for my perfect advice and opinion. I think if I explained all of these areas now, your brain would just explode.

I have decided that "phil and li" is the topic for today. Now, I don't want to mention any names, so I want you to assume that Phil and Li are two hypothetical people who are going out. Also, Phil's hypothetical phone number is 0405 108 668.

Yesterday I went to a party of a friend of mine. The dress code was semi-formal so naturally steve69cai came in jeans and sneakers. It was quite an interesting experience because all of the birthday speeches could be related back to Phil and Li. As such we developed the following chant:

Phil and Li
Sitting in a tree
K-I-S-S-I-N-G

This provided us with much entertainment, and it certainly added much to the night.

-more stories to come.

Astro boy

I was going to write about the disappointing experience that was watching Astro boy, but I have a problem with my blog which is apparently now a file that my internet browser does not know how to handle.

You stupid machine, its a WEBSITE, now OPEN it.

-silly computers

Coming up next...

In the next post I will explain why steve cai and phillip chin are the same person.

Strange happenings

People will never cease to surprise me with their nuances and means of expression. In many ways I do not see human beings much different from ants who exist in great numbers but little differentiates them. Human beings may like to think of themselves as more sophisticated, but can the world be described as anything less than a giant ant farm?

I am not writing this to make myself seem strange – rather I am writing to report a strange phenomenon. One which I have not yet been able to classify in terms of being ‘idiot’ or ‘non-idiot’. This phenomenon is the unusual reliance on another person for an emotion. It fascinates me that one person’s happiness can be contingent on another’s, or on that other person’s presence, or a mixture of the two, and that a lack thereof can lead to some sort of insanity.

I shall refrain from naming names (for real this time) and state that I have a friend who is quite obsessed with this girl. He is so obsessed in fact that to him, meeting her is about as essential as eating breakfast, lunch or dinner. He has a certain quota which he needs to fulfil otherwise he feels like he is going insane.

Having spoken to him in quite some depth about this, I am not quite sure whether I can categorise him as an idiot, a fool or just someone who needs someone to the point where he is no longer an independent entity.

I often find people’s obsession stories funny, but to me this one is quite sad. Here is a person who has never been addicted to anything before, and finally finds something which is worthy of it. However, having such a reliance when it cannot always be satisfied leaves many painful times for people like myself who must put up with the tale. Sometimes I think he should just jump out the window, other times I tell him he is normal and he should leave me alone…. His story about seeing this girl only twice this week is DRIVING ME NUTS!

- Keep the room at the mental asylum warm; a new inmate is coming in… (i.e. him, not me)

my knee hurts

My knee has just started to hurt. I am not sure why this is happening since I am renowned for my fitness and excellent physique.

In other news, I went to a party last night and two things happened when I went to use the toilet:

1. The guy before me had diaorrhea and so the toilet STANK to the point where I thought something had died and been flushed down the basin.

2. Some random person was so impatient they tried to break in despite my comment that I was in the toilet AND that the door was quite obviously locked. Listen, fool, if someone says "someone's in here" AND the door doesn't move, you might want to entertain the idea that you can't use the toilet and perhaps you should wait.

Maybe it was the first guy who thought it wasn't smelly enough.

It reminds me of the time SOMEBODY stank up the toilet at one of Bob's showhomes in 1994/1995 and tried to blame me. In fact, the smell was so bad my uncle was unable to go in and look at the tiles they used and the showhomes person, Bob, had to describe them. That in itself is quite ironic because Bob stank up the other toilet and it was that that forced the smell creator to go to the clean toilet.

-why does the word 'smell' always have such bad connotations?

http://mudbowl.org/chin.htm