Wedding

I just went to a wedding. I don't know who was getting married, but there was food there. Anyway, I just rocked up and spoke to Mahmood the whole time. We were both wondering when the food was going to arrive. The food was nice though.

Anyway, I saw a little boy there with a perfectly fitting suit. I myself don't have a suit that fits that perfectly. I thought to myself, that must be an expensive suit which will only last the boy 6 months before he grows out of it. What a waste of money.

The boy comes up to me and starts staring at me. The following conversation ensues:

me: nice suit.
boy: do you know what a laser is?
me: yes I do
boy: have you seen a laser before?
me: yes I have
boy: I have a laser
me: thats nice
boy: wanna see it?
me: I really don't care

He then takes out one of those laser pointers, points at the wall, and then turns it off and walks away.

-what a weird kid.

Can't think of anything to write

I just want you all to know I am still here: healthy and alive. I can't think of a topic to write about.. I was hoping the elections would give me the opportunity to tell you about some of the funny calls I made, but alas, the disqualification of Vision meant we had no one to campaign against for a significant portion of the voting week.

If anyone has any ideas for a topic, or wants me to review a blog, or anything REASONABLE tell me.

-Vote [1] NOVA in comsoc elections

Dramatic Role Reversal

In a dramatic role reversal, my mother just asked ME how to cook something. I am the guy who took 20mins to make 2min noodles. I also couldn't differentiate between the griller and the pan and did not understand how the inside part could remain cold while the outside was burned.

I know these things now, but I can safely say that unless it has instructions, or its an egg, I do not know how to make it. Obviously my reputation as Dr G, the Great, the Wise and the Mighty, has reached her. I am skilled.

- Vote [1] Power in the Student Guild elections!

You can stop annoying me now

To all the guys out there who continually ask me "What do you do with Mrs G?", I have an answer. A picture speaks a thousand words.

THIS is what my relationship with susan is like:



In case you are so stupid that you can't read an image: relationships exist on the lowest common denominator. Lets say A and B are going out. A does not want to touch B at all, but B is OK with holding hands. It means A and B won't touch eachother.

In case you are wondering why I suddenly participate more in certain conversations (rather than seeming lost): Understand that at first these things meant nothing to me, but once you are in a relationship, it opens more doors than just one - when I lost my aversity to relationships, it forced me to be open to more things - so, YES, as a side effect, now I do actually notice whether a girl is attractive or not.

-No follow up questions allowed, especially from Neal. I am not answering stupid questions. If you want to find out about a relationship, ask Phil and Li.

Jim Yang

Jim "I am really James Ye in disguise" Yang is a rather astute individual who pretends to be James Ye. The irony of the situation is that James prefers to be called James "please call me jim" Ye. Which means both of them wish to be the other - in short, neither James Ye nor Jim Yang can exist.

Jim Yang found that he was about as good at passing himself of as James Ye as an apple tree was of growing oranges - it was round, but just a different fruit. He has longed to be called James, so much so that when Manoj accidentally referred to him as "James Yang" he replied saying "thats my name!".

Now that his plan to be James Ye has failed, Jim has started to work on becoming "Angela Yeow". However, he faces two problems:

First, his girlfriend isn't too happy about changing her name to "Steve Cai" in order to accomodate the change effectively, and second, James Ye is not happy about becoming Phillip Chin. The love triangle won't work without a Li, but thankfully the real Christine Tran is available to play herself as in love with both Steve and Phil. However, I do not know if she can transfer this love for people pretending to be Steve and Phil.

- Jim "I am Angela Yeow" Yang

I am bored

I am sitting in my advanced legal research class completely bored. As has been customary since first year, I wonder if my QMB Lecturer, Michael Olive, is, or was, related to an olive.

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to:

Manoj
Christine

You were both born on 6/9 or otherwise remembered as "69". Perhaps that explains why Christine and Mr 69 had that attraction.

- Best wishes!

Fanmail

My fans are of the calibre that they actually draw pictures of me in their spare time. I cannot help but put it up:



-I love all my fans

Marriages

I have reached that point in my life where a lot of the friends I grew up with are starting to get married. Today I would like to congratulate two people on their engagements:

1. Raja (real name Ammar):

I called him Raja once and our conversation went as follows*:

ME: Hey Raja, how's it going?
RAJA: What did you call me?
ME: Umm.... its been pretty cold recently...

*on a side note it took me 10 years to find out his real name. Everyone used to call him "honey", then they called him "Raja". I had no idea. I just called him "hey" and this was the FIRST TIME I ventured to use a name for him...

Its not as bad as what happened with me and Omar (I forgot his name or wasn't sure how to pronounce it):

OMAR: Hey GULFAM, whats happening mate? Haven't seen you in ages!
ME: Hey, yeah I am doing well, what have you been up to?
OMAR: That was a rather subdued response
ME: I am always like that
OMAR: No, it gave me the impression that you didn't know my name.

Anyway, Raja is getting married to a girl from New Zealand. Nobody knows her. Even his uncle doesn't know her. Its an arranged marriage so thats no surprise.

2. Ahmad: I saw him today and spoke to him and he didn't tell me he was engaged. Yep, he TOTALLY NEGLECTED to mention it to me. My grandma told me later. Ahmad is a good 6 months younger than me. We used to build cubby houses together (we made at least 6) and construct "swimming pools" in driveways which would make the owner yell at us for making "potholes" - what's a pothole?

My grandma's reaction

My grandma got sweets etc for the wedding of Raja (the people getting married give out sweets to everyone else) and said to my grandpa "When are we going to get sweets from Gulfam's wedding?" to which he replied "he has to want to get married first".

-My family is comedic when it comes to these issues.