Access difficulties

My computer is broken. It doesn't turn on. When you press the button nothing happens. I have sent it in to be repaired and I'll be getting it back in a week. Good thing I got a three year warranty (I have had the computer for two years). It got the three years instead of 1 year for free because I am a student.

I am using the lawlabs and they suck. It took me 25mins to login. Thats almost half an hour. Because I have no computer, I only just finished most of the stuff (pertinent matters) I needed to finish on the computer now. There is only 15 mins left in this class (out of two hours) and she is teaching us how to use google so I missed everything I NEED to know, and am now learning about things I don't.

Beware of computers - you may not think it, but you really do rely on them, and as much as you want to beat the crap out of them sometimes, if they break down they hit you harder than you could possibly hit them.

-My old computer shakes like a second hand washing machine.

Illogical

I had the gross misfortune of not having a motor vehicle to drive to the station yesterday morning. As a result I trudged to the station, umbrella in hand, one step at a time.

On my way I noticed a woman who for some reason thought it would be cool to use her hose to wash her drive way. It was already raining heavily and clearly her using the hose was just a waste of water. I think she is an idiot because:

1. It was raining so the drive way was already wet
2. It was a total waste of water
3. She was getting wet in the rain.

If she stayed inside the warmth of her own home, the driveway would have been the same as her standing outside, risking a cold, and washing the driveway with her hose. Wasting water and money. How stupid is she? Very stupid. Even Phil thinks she isn't intelligent and that is saying a lot.

-People like that have more cabbages than a prized tomato on bunyip day

The three stories

I made a promise of upcoming stories, and now I shall dispense to you, the lucky reader, my stories:

1. Manoj and Kate:

Kate is a girl who shall be the next women's officer of the student guild. Manoj is going to be the next president. During the campaign week, Kate pointed to a child and said "I want one of those". Manoj pointed to the same child and said "I want one of themt too".

Sensing the opportunity for I, the great Dr G, to utilise my endless wit, I said:

"manoj, you are a guy. kate you are a girl. if you want one of them its not that hard"

Kate then remarked "Wouldn't it be funny if the women's officer was having an affair with the president"

It was certainly funny to me, but not to Manoj who turned to me when about 30cm from Kate and expressed a look of intense disgust. Vivien was really happy about it.

2. Manoj and Ken Burke:

Ken told Manoj some funny stories - one was about how Ken had to pretend to be sad but was really happy when he found out Manoj would be his boss!

3. Mansoor Shah:

My friend, Mansoor Shah, recently sat with me whilst in the Mosque. They were holding elections for the President of the Youth of my Mosque. Only members of the executive can watch, and being ordinary people, me and Mansoor went to watch.

Mansoor went to the toilet for a bit and I thought I heard someone nominate "Masood Shah". I thought it'd be funny to tell Mansoor it was him so when he came back I told him he had been nominated. Of course, to him it wasn't real since he wasn't even an exec. We both brushed it off as a joke.

Then all of a sudden the chairperson, who read out the nominations, said "where is mansoor shah?". It was at this point Mansoor realised he had been nominated and he stood up. Everyone was staring at him thinking "WTF", but no one thought that more than Mansoor himself who realised that a lot can happen when you are ameliorating the strain on your bladder.

They held a vote and Mansoor and this other guy came equal first. This means the chair has casting vote and he was yet to exercise the vote. Looks like Mansoor became President whilst in the toilet.

The end.

New Posts

I have three new posts. One is about Manoj and Kate. The second is about Manoj and Ken Burke. The third, and final is about Mansoor Shah. I will write them up later.